The behaviour in the Christian Fellowship groups really is a like a wild jungle with people being deliberately manipulated to see if they are strong enough to survive. Sadly thousands of people have not been strong and have truly suffered at the hands of these monsters.
Is the whole thing really just a mind game? I heard of people standing up to certain leaders regarding dating, courtship etc, and the leaders backed down because they knew they were wrong. If I’d known this was the case all along I would have gone in guns blazing instead of playing the meek and mild character I thought I had to play to get ahead in life. They wouldn’t want to test me now.
Also, I don’t want to be a negative Nancy amongst the well-wishers, but regarding Ian and Bronwyn, can we be sure that Bronwyn won’t suffer the same abuse Gladys did?
Is the whole thing really just a mind game? I heard of people standing up to certain leaders regarding dating, courtship etc, and the leaders backed down because they knew they were wrong.
I think it depended on who the marriage counsellor was/is. A 'strategy' used by one particular counsellor (or maybe more??) was to do their best to split the courting couple up, saying, "if you can't split them up, the marriage will probably last". Sure, there may be elements of truth in that strategy, but I find it difficult to believe that that approach doesn't have an underlying undertone of control.
With respect to you (not shooting the messenger), that's a stupid strategy.
They've already brainwashed these kids since infancy to be unquestioningly compliant airheads who will do anything you tell them.
How are the dating couple supposed to know it's "just a test" and not a direct word from the Lord Himself through a "lampstand star messenger presbytery worthy house man"?
Does this mean that everything else is just a test? Not according to their dogma about receiving whatever the so-called messenger says unreservedly, and "laying down your prerogatives and ambitions, etc".
Man. If I'd known all this back then I'd be living a very different life. I "laid down" everything.
I don't doubt you at all and I believe what you said is true. It just beggars belief that a Christian organisation can be so deceptive. Atheists would have a field day with this group.
I'm so disappointed for so many reasons. I want a refund.
The other thing to consider is that I only heard this as an off-handed comment/joke to a few people in a small informal gathering. He didn't actually directly disclose who the couple were, but from the way the discussion went, we all knew. I remember feeling bad for them. Two genuine, top quality people who I admire and greatly respect. I'd hate that to be done to me. Why would a marriage counsellor joke to others about their approach to counselling, and accidently (on purpose) let others in on details of any kind? To me, it sounds like a leader who is entitled. Or perhaps that leader could have been sending a message to the small group as a 'shot across the bow' if they ever want to get married, this kind of thing will happen to them too. I wouldn't rule out gaslighting in this situation either. Some leaders will say anything just to provoke a response.
Suffice to say, all discussions/information between couples and marriage counsellors should be done in confidence. And to be fair, I don't think this kind of behaviour is across the board in xCF leadership. I know there are other marriage counsellors in xCF that wouldn't dream of doing such a thing. So let's not paint everyone with the same brush.
